my beautiful son.

Your hospital pictures. Awe. They melt me. You were only two days old. Your hands stayed balled up and held tight. Your fingernails were so sharp and grew daily. Literally. Your feet were big. Everyone talked about them. You weren't fond of them being touched. Your toes were long like Daddy's. You had my upper lip. Your birth mark was hidden on the back of your neck in your hair line. Again, like Daddy's. Everyone said you looked like Uncle Brian and Daddy. Some said they had no idea. You had so much hair - the look of golden blonde with hence of red through many off. I'll admit, at times it looked red, at times it looked blonde. Daddy and Grandma Ellen went back and forth everyday on what color your hair was. They had fun with it. Me, I didn't care. You were so perfect. I could not believe you were mine. Ours. I  could not believe I was your mother. At night, I could not take my eyes off of you. That still happens three months later. I love/d to watch you sleep. All the world was so busy with so much to see, so much to learn but the most person site was seeing you sleep on me. It was your favorite place and instantly became my favorite place for you. You are a love that is indescribable. You are the most perfect thing in the world. You are my beautiful son.

Birth Story

January 10, 2014 - the day Daddy and I had been waiting for so eagerly.

We were so nervous. The car ride to the hospital was so quite. I remember Daddy asking me, "Are you okay?" and that was basically all that was said. Poppy called. Grandma Ellen called. Daddy and I... we were quiet. 

When we arrived to the hospital, Grandma and Papa met us there. Nerves kind of disappeared. We gained excitement but did not really have time to think about it as we registered. Soon, Grandma and Gran-daddy joined us. I was mostly nervous about the operation. 
Being half awake and half under the knife scared me to pieces.

After getting prepped and settled, it was shortly before we were in the OR waiting for your arrival. I am not going to lie, I was a nervous wreck and it did not feel good. They made me go in alone to get my spinal shot - I literally announced to Dr. Jackson and the other nurses how nervous I was. Our anesthesiologist was amazing. He tried keeping me laughing. It was tough. I was that nervous. Daddy described it as "a full blown anxiety attack". I was so scared. I wasn't in pain nor was I uncomfortable but could actually feel you being delivered. This made me completely sick to my stomach. Literally. Truthfully, it was absolutely horrible.

Our anesthesiologist played Bruno Mars in my ear as he gave me oxygen.
I cried the entire time. 
Nerves. Meeting you. Feeling the tugging. 
I couldn't quit crying. 

I can remember telling Daddy, "He is about to be here." His eyes dropped as I'm sure his tummy did too. 
Dr. Jackson then said, "We will soon have a baby."
It was like that... you were here.

It took a total of six minutes. Seriously. 
Dr. Jackson was amazing along with all the other nurses and Doctors. .  Although I do not remember seeing you much, I remember your cry. I cried. I bawled. Daddy chased you around with the camera, he was so so excited. He was such a proud Daddy. 

Born at 7:49am, you were 8.7lbs 20 1/4 long. 
You were perfect. Healthy and handsome. 

Daddy got to show you off for a second while they cleaned me up. I couldn't wait to be with you. Soon enough, I was. You made me smile so big. And cry. Tears of joy. 

Soon after recovery, you had guest galore. All weekend (3 days) you had so many people there to meet you. I'd guess around 60 people. You were so loved. Daddy was ready to go home immediately, me... I was so tired and trying to learn how to be a mom. I was nervous. Daddy was the best care taker to me and to you. He was nervous with you but I fell in love with him that day and every day afterwards. 

Monday, January 13th we were able to take you home. How exciting but a brand new world for us. The first week seemed good. We were exhausted with even more guest but wow at the help. Grandma Ellen... I could not have made it without her. She was there everyday cleaning, cooking and if she wasn't cooking, our friends were bringing us dinner and making sure we all were okay. Daddy took care of me. He was at my beck & call. He never left my side. Me... I took care of you. I breast feed you, therefore I was really the only one to be able to feed you. You were such a pig. 

You were so sweet and so good. 

Our world changed in just six minutes.

You are the best thing in our life Blaze Aaron. 

We thought we knew exactly what life was about but you proved us so wrong.